Showing posts with label self. Show all posts
Showing posts with label self. Show all posts

Saturday, April 28, 2012

'I want to do' versus what 'I should do' versus what 'I'm currently doing'

I know I have a tendency to blather on about what 'I want to do' versus what 'I should do' versus what 'I'm currently doing'.

I 'SHOULD' be going to college and making something of myself. I know that having children is an awesome experience. But for someone personally....there's got to be something more out there. Something more than cleaning and doing laundry......I also feel like I 'SHOULD' be working.....

I am 'CURRENTLY' a stay at home mom and housewife. With no education that's worth anything and next to nothing work experience. Who is a chronic daydreamer that wants to travel, go to parties, and gain a vast understanding of the world around me. Of course I can still possibly do those things. The problem is I probably won't do them while I'm young. That's what bugs me. That's what eats at me. I also bitch about not attending college, when it's no one's fault, but my own. It can't be helped though in a way since Boo isn't in school quite yet.

What I am yearning 'TO DO'? I want to write, but ever since Candace ditched me. I have kind of lost the interest......I can't quite focus. When I do manage to get something out I work on it so much, I get burnt out, and don't want to touch it. I want to own a business, but I am math illiterate. I wouldn't mind being a paranormal investigator, but without a televised network. You're really nothing except a starving artist with fancy utensils.

My God......I have become cliched and typical. If I was wearing a knitted hat and sitting in a coffee shop. I would be a like every other yuppy hipster clicking and clacking away on a blog. Being obsessive and incessant about their life or lack thereof. Now I feel totally disgusted about myself.......